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So reading over my Livejournal and my friends' LJs made me remember how much I used to love it.  I guess until today the last time I updated this, I was fifteen years old, about to turn sixteen. WEIRD. I'm eighteen now, I'm a freshman in college, I live in Atlanta, I have a boyfriend that I've been with on and off for 7 and a half months (we are still on and off), and so much has changed.  Life is just crazy.  I am in such a different place that I ever could have fathomed entering my junior year of high school.  I'm so different! When did this happen?? But I wouldn't change it for the world.  I love where I am, I love who I am, and yeah, nothing could really be better.  I guess this is why I used to love LJ so much, lol.  It's weird, but in some kind of crazy way it makes you love who you are--I guess because that's the whole point of the journal, to express yourself.  Maybe I'll bring this back into my life? Well, it seems more fun when other people are reading.

♥ shelby 

 Livejournal is dead. But I'm writing an essay about it?

So basically, the death of John Bowden (who I never knew, by the way) has been a big reality check for me.  It's really scary to think that you can go do something as innocent as play soccer and never see tomorrow.  A few minutes ago, my mom and I were having a conversation about tomorrow.  I'm supposed to go to cheer practice, it's supposed to be 105 degrees, and last time we practiced outside. I have a really low tolerance for heat and strenous exercise, and I have passed out from doing it. So the fact that a sixteen year old just lost his life from doing just that, is ridiculously hard to handle. My sixteenth birthday is in nine days... but the reality is, I may not even make it there. Every once in a while, I come to the end of a day and say to myself, "If I had known about everything that was going to happen today when I woke up this morning, I would've done everything so differently." If I woke up tomorrow and knew I was going to die, I would base everything I did on the thought that it would be my last day.  During our conversation, my mom told me that 105 is deadly, and she intends for me to bury her.  And I have the same intention, for both of my parents. And after regaining conciousness that day three years ago, I remember seeing my father's face when he walked into the room.  I think that's the closest to crying I've ever seen him.  I can't imagine the pain that John Bowden's family and friends are going through right now.  Looking back, time has passed so fast, and I feel so old.  But I can really only hope that I'm just reaching one-sixth of my life. Sixteen is so young. I'm literally at a loss for words. Life isn't fair, but neither is death.

R.I.P. John Bowden

I just thought I should post this, because it is so me.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Thank you.  That is all.

Okay, so. Today was overall a good day. Skipped school, went to work with my mom. That was boring, but I got to do some cool stuff. So after she took me to North and I went and visited the team, then went to Chem Fair. A lot of people were there; I was surprised. It made me feel really weird. I was in adult mode all day, and then I had to switch into friend mode, which took a minute. So yeah. Not going to school really fucks up my week. And the more I think about it, the more I feel like I would've rather have gone to school. I think I need equal amounts of odd and even classes to feel balanced. So tomorrow's probably gonna be really annoying, cuz I'll probably feel like I had the same classes two days in a row. I could skip third hour to go to that play for Stasys, but I don't know if I want to. We have a quiz anyway, and I don't wanna have to make that up.

So, that was me thinking on a keyboard.

Happy Birthday Melissa! =)

♥love

So! SB '06. Gotta say, it was pretty okay.

Friday night: Scary Movie 4 with Melissa, Rachel, Jon and Victor. Movie sucked. But we made our own fun. Too bad it wasn't legal. =)

Saturday: Chem Fair. Stayed up all night. Don't really remember it. But Matt called me at like 2 in the morning. He was drunk. That was pretty funny.

Sunday: Left at like 3:30 in the morning for the airport. Left at 6. Got to Aruba sometime that day. Walked around the hotel... nothing special.

Monday/Tuesday: These days were pretty gay. Don't remember what happened. But I'm sure one of those days my mom and I walked down to the beach and just sat there and looked at the stars. Or that could've been Sunday.

Wednesday: Rented a Jeep and drove around the island. We saw a lighthouse. Went to like the backstretch of the island. Purely AMAZING. I honestly don't think I've seen 2 million of anything before. But I'm sure there were at least 2 million rocks on that part of the island. Doesn't sound too interesting, I know. But it was beautiful. And on top of the big rocks people stacked a bunch of little rocks, so there were like little rock towers everywhere. My dad made one. It was sweet. And people spray painted their lover's names on big boulders, lol. It made me want to do it. But the boy is not my boyfriend. And I didn't have any spray paint.

Thursday: This day was amazing too. I went parasailing. OH GOD. It was well, amazing. I need another word. But it was. The water is SO pretty, ahhh! Then after that my parents went and got tattoos. I love mine. I'll still have it Monday/Tuesday so ask me if you wanna see it, lol.

Friday: Spent pretty much the whole day at the airport. Flight from D.C. was delayed... so got home at like 1:30 this morning.

Today: Woke up at like 7:45, drove until 10:30, slept until 2:40. But uhm, let me explain the title of the entry. I was driving, right, and I was backing out of this kid's driveway. So I got on the street, and I just figured the car knew I wanted to be in Drive. So I pushed the gas, and of course we go flying backwards. So then I shift, and I'm about to push the gas pedal, when my instructor goes, "That's Park." It was hilarious. God, I was tired. So after I came home and slept I got up; been doing my Stasys research paper ever since, but got wayyy too A.D.D. and I can't do that shit anymore. But my mom is making me do another half page and I really have to pull it out of my ass. Oh well? But yeah. That was pretty much it.

I'm actually excited to go back to school Monday. That's the definition of realllllly good friends, I guess.

♥

I'm sure it's been a few weeks (or more) since I updated. So here goes. Yeahhh it's Spring Break. For some reason I'm not as excited as I should be... because in 12 hours I'll be at the airport on my way to Aruba. Vacations are pretty much the only time when it sucks to be an only child. But whatever, that's not gonna change in the next 12 hours. I'm hungry. And my dad is on his way with my Olga's. That excites me. So last night I went to see Scary Movie 4 with Mel, Rachel, Jon and Victor. The movie was pretty stupid, but I had fun anyway. Maybe too much fun. =) After that we went back to Mel's house and I chilled for about an hour. Then I came home and slept. Today I drove (did okay) and I have Chem Fair in an hour. I also have to pack, which my mom told me to do before I go, but for some reason I do things better when I procrastinate. So yeah. Everybody have fun over break; be back on Friday.

commentsplease♥

Well yay, my weekend was pretty damn decent. (By the way, you can stick in the word "damn" in anywhere.) My mom just dropped the Diet 7Up. Beautiful. But yeah, last night Inzy came over and we had fun, I spewed for the first time in a long time, it was great. Then today I had track (poo) came home, found out that I wasn't going to be able to get my hair done, so I did it myself. It's quite poofy, if I do say so myself. Then I went to see Stay Alive with Melli Poo. Awesome movie, it was really good (and scary). She tripped on the way in; I almost died. Then I came home, and like as soon as I walked in the door, Ben called me. So we ended up going to Max and Erma's for some cookies, it was lovely. Then tomorrow I have to do my whole marketing project (not excited) and the rest of my homework, then I'm babysitting from 6-10:30 which means I'll get some money, yay. Then, uh, I have to go back to school. This concludes my weekend breakdown. Thanks for reading.

ily♥